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SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO READ THE ARTICLE TITLED DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE --- What Does The Bible Really Say? LIST OF ARTICLES: WHAT
YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT PSYCHOPATHS
(I consider this one of the top five most-important articles
for practical application on this website. It is NOT what you
think. ---Harry Bethel) THE CONDEMNATION OF ADAM AND SALVATION OF EVE AIDING AND ABETTING YOUR PASTOR ARE ALL CHRISTIANS AMBASSADORS FOR CHRIST? THE ART OF ALMOST SAYING SOMETHING BOOKS READ AND CHURCHES VISITED THE LAST WORD ON BURIAL AND CREMATION A CHALLENGE TO ALL PASTORS ON PLANET EARTH SHOULD CHRISTIANS CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS IT'S TIME TO COME OUT OF THE CHURCHES THE SO-CALLED GREAT COMMISSION SHOULD CHRISTIANS BORROW MONEY? DEMOCRACY --- A SCRIPTURAL PERSPECTIVE THE CHURCH IS LOSING DISCERNMENT WHAT IS FAITH? --- MOST CHRISTIANS DON'T KNOW IS RITUALISTIC FOOTWASHING SCRIPTURAL? GOSPEL MESSAGE IN MANY LANGUAGES WHAT IS GRACE? --- MOST CHRISTIANS DON'T KNOW THE HOLOCAUST--- PERSECUTION OR GOD'S JUDGMENT? SHOULD CHRISTIANS BUY INSURANCE? THE JEWS ARE NOT GOD'S CHOSEN PEOPLE OCCUPATIONS SUITABLE FOR CHRISTIANS THE LONELINESS OF THE CHRISTIAN THE MENACE OF THE RELIGIOUS MOVIE THERE IS NO FEAR OF GOD BEFORE THEIR EYES ALL THE NEW TESTAMENT COMMANDMENTS PERSECUTION AND MARTYRDOM --- THE NEW TESTAMENT NORM THE GREAT POSTPONEMENT THE PRE-TRIBULATION RAPTURE HOAX HARDLY ANY CHRISTIANS WILL BE RAPTURED! REPENTANCE --- A FORGOTTEN DOCTRINE ETERNAL REWARDS --- RECEIVING AND LOSING SHOULD CHRISTIANS KEEP THE SABBATH? THE SUBJECTION AND SILENCE OF WOMEN SHOULD CHRISTIANS KEEP THE TEN COMMANDMENTS? ARE YOU A TRUE-CHRISTIAN APOSTATE? SHOULD CHRISTIANS WATCH TELEVISION? GOD'S ULTIMATE WARNING TO CHRISTIANS UNITY OF THE SPIRIT OR THE SPIRIT OF UNITY?
DIVORCE
AND REMARRIAGE--- Harry Bethel (NOTE: The truths from the Scriptures presented in this article will be new to you, and astonishing. This article has been read by many thousands and not one has refuted anything herein. I encourage you to allow the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to see these very important truths about divorce and remarriage.) There is probably no doctrine more misunderstood among conservative Christians than the one concerning divorce and remarriage. Conservatism in biblical interpretation is, for the most part, a safe camp to be in. But just because one embraces a conservative view of a particular doctrine does not necessarily mean one holds a scriptural view. Christians should not divorce their marriage partners. Forgiveness is the best and right way to handle infractions of the marriage covenant or relationship. Husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it. Wives should love and submit to their husbands in everything as unto the Lord. If these two commands were obeyed, divorce would be virtually non-existent among Christians. But what do we do, for example, about Christians who are divorced and their ex-spouse has remarried? May that one marry another person? This and many other questions concerning this issue are clearly answered from the Word of God in this treatise. What you are about to discover (whether you accept these truths or not) is a literal view, and more importantly a scriptural view and indeed the truth concerning divorce and remarriage. To help you to grasp the truths of this teaching, some basic points in a question-and-answer format will be presented. May the Lord do for you what He did for the disciples---"Then opened He their understanding, that they might understand the Scriptures" (Lk. 24:45). I encourage you to be like the Bereans and search the Scriptures to see if these things are true. Because many of these truths from the Scriptures are based on sequentially presented facts, it is important to read the following questions and answers without skipping any of them. Does God recognize divorce, or is a marriage indissoluble? A marriage can be dissolved by divorce, and God does recognize this fact. God Himself put away Israel and gave her a bill of divorce. God said, "And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce" (Jer. 3:8). Indeed, God Himself is a divorcé (masculine is divorcé, feminine is divorcee). What about the teaching that two people who are legitimately married are one flesh and God says man cannot put the marriage asunder? A marriage can indeed be put asunder. The Scriptures do not say that man cannot put asunder what God has joined together, but rather "let not" man put it asunder (Mt. 19:6). Is God forbidding people to do that which is impossible to do? No. But isn't a marriage still binding even if a couple gets a divorce? Aren't they still husband and wife in God's eyes? No. God put away Israel and gave her a bill of divorce (Jer. 3:8), and in Hosea's relationship with Gomer (which is analogous to God's relationship with Israel) God had recorded in Hosea 2:2, "She is not my wife, neither am I her husband." Doesn't the Bible say that God hates divorce? No. Notwithstanding the fact that some modern translations say God hates divorce in Malachi 2:16, that is a mistranslation. What the Hebrew text really says is that God hates "putting away" (Mal. 2:16 KJV), "sending away" (Young's Literal Translation). God did not say He hates divorce. God hates putting away. Giving a certificate of divorce so that the one put away may remarry without being in an adulterous relationship was a merciful act allowed by God. Is there a difference between "putting away" and "divorce"? Yes. One can put away or send out his or her spouse without giving a bill of divorce. Deuteronomy 24:1-3 and Jeremiah 3:8 speak of giving a bill of divorcement and sending out of the house or putting away. Some wrongly claim that "putting away" and "divorce" are synonymous, but the fact that a wife can be put away without having been given a bill of divorcement clearly refutes that false teaching. There are many wives who are legally separated from their husbands, but are not divorced. But doesn't putting away and divorce really mean the same thing? No. Putting away is because of sin and giving the bill of divorcement is a merciful act allowed by God to dissolve the marriage so that the ex-spouse is free to marry another person. In Moses' day it was a very burdensome thing for a woman to be put away without being given a bill of divorcement so that she could marry another man. God made a provision for women who were put away so that they could be supported. It was because of men's hard hearts (Mt. 19:8) that God, through Moses, allowed men to put away their wives. And it was God's mercy that provided for a man to give a bill of divorcement so that "she may go and be another man's wife" (Deut. 24:1-2). Notice in Deuteronomy 24:4 that the Scriptures refer to "her former husband." Her first husband is no longer her husband, he is her former or ex-husband. The first marriage has been absolutely dissolved. Otherwise the divorced woman would be in adultery if she became another man's wife. What if a divorced woman's second husband dies or gives her a bill of divorcement and sends her out, may she return to her former husband who divorced her? No. Her former husband may not take her again to be his wife. "And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin" (Deut. 24:3-4). If marriage was indissoluble then she would be able to return to her first husband because they would still be one flesh. But she is no longer married to her first or "former" husband. He "may not take her again to be his wife." Marriage is a sacred institution. God never intended for a man and wife to divorce for any and every reason. A man should not frivolously divorce his wife. If she marries another man he may not take her back for any reason. This command of God is not only given in the Old Covenant, but also in the New. The Lord commanded, "Let not the wife depart from her husband: but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband" (1 Cor. 7:11). She must remain unmarried. The clear implication here is that if she does not remain unmarried and marries another man, then she cannot be reconciled to her former husband because this is still an abomination to God. If a woman divorces her husband and she becomes another man's wife, she may not return to him, according to the command of God. It should be noted here, that, while God allowed men to divorce their wives in the Old Testament because of their hard hearts, nowhere in the entire Bible is a woman allowed to divorce her husband. What about the fact that the Bible says in Matthew 5:32 that whosoever marries her that is divorced commits adultery? That is what the King James Version and several modern translations say. But a closer look at the Greek text shows that a literal translation in that verse would be "whosoever shall marry her that is put away commits adultery." The Greek word apoluo, Strong's number 630, is used here and for some reason was translated "divorced" instead of "put away." The King James translators were not consistent in translating apoluo "put away" or "send away" or "sent away" as they did more than 25 times in other verses. In fact, apoluo appears in the Greek Textus Receptus (from which the King James Version was translated) more than 65 times but was translated "divorce" only once, and that was in Matthew 5:32. The Greek word apoluo was correctly translated "put away" in Matthew 5:32, for example, in the American Standard Version (1901), Young's Literal Translation of the Holy Bible (1898), and The Interlinear Greek-English New Testament translated by Jay P. Green. A margin note in The Geneva Bible translated from the Textus Receptus in 1560 (about 50 years before the KJV) concerning the term put away said, "that is, was not lawfully divorced." Jesus did not say whosoever shall marry her that has been given a bill of divorce (biblion, 975 and apostasion, 647) commits adultery, but rather whosoever shall marry her that has been put away (apoluo, 630) commits adultery (Mt. 5:32; 19:9; Lk. 16:18). Likewise, Jesus did not say whosoever shall give a bill of divorce (biblion, 975 and apostasion, 647) to his wife causes her to commit adultery, but rather whosoever shall put away (apoluo, 630) his wife (except for fornication) causes her to commit adultery (Mt. 5:32). And Jesus did not say whosoever shall give his wife a bill of divorce (biblion, 975 and apostasion, 647) and marry another commits adultery, but rather whosoever shall put away (apoluo, 630) his wife (except for fornication) and shall marry another commits adultery (Mt. 19:9; Lk. 16:18). And Jesus did not say if a woman shall give her husband a bill of divorce (biblion, 975 and apostasion, 647) and be married to another she commits adultery, but rather if a woman shall put away (apoluo, 630) her husband and be married to another she commits adultery (Mk. 10:12). Why in all these cases would the parties be guilty of adultery? Because they would have only been put away or separated, they would not have been divorced. They would still be married, therefore they would be committing adultery. A man who no longer has a wife cannot be guilty of adultery by marrying a woman who does not have a husband. Conversely, a woman who no longer has a husband cannot be guilty of adultery by marrying a man who does not have a wife. If one marries a woman who is merely put away without having been given a certificate of divorce, that is an adulterous situation because she is still married to the man from whom she has been separated. But if she has been given a certificate of divorce, then she is not married, she no longer has a husband and as set forth early on in Deuteronomy 24, she is free to go be another man's wife. But weren't the King James translators inspired by the Holy Spirit to produce an infallible translation which is the only English Bible that God has used to preserve His Word? Even the King James translators themselves did not make that claim. In fact, in the preface to the 1611 version (this and the Apocrypha which they translated has been omitted from most copies of the KJV today) they clearly disclaim that their translation was the only Word of God. There were already several English translations in existence and being used in England, America, and other countries. Some of these were Wycliffe (1380), Tyndale (1525-30), Coverdale (1535), Matthew's Bible (1537), Great Bible (1540), Geneva Bible (1560), and Bishop's Bible (1568). In the preface titled The Translators To The Reader was written, "...We do not deny, nay we affirm and avow, that the very meanest [most common, lowest quality] translation of the Bible in English...containeth the Word of God, nay, is the Word of God." "...We are so far off from condemning any of their labors that prevailed before us [previous translators of previous versions] in this kind, either in this land or beyond sea...that we acknowledge them to have been raised up of God, for the building and furnishing of his Church, and that they deserve to be had of us and of posterity in everlasting remembrance." "Truly (good Christian reader) we never thought from the beginning that we should need to make a new translation, nor yet to make of a bad one a good one...but to make a good one better, or out of many good ones, one principle good one..." The 1611 original had numerous margin notes that offer different possible translations of words and phrases. The translators wrote in the preface, "Some peradventure would have no variety of senses to be set in the margin, less the authority of the Scriptures for deciding of controversies by that show of uncertainty, should somewhat be shaken. But we hold their judgment not to be so sound in this point...It hath pleased God in his divine providence, here and there to scatter words and sentences of that difficulty and doubtfulness...Variety of translations is profitable for the finding out of the sense of the Scriptures: so diversity of signification and sense in the margin, where the text is not so clear, must needs do good, yea, is necessary, as we are persuaded." "...We have not tied ourselves to an uniformity of phrasing, or to an identity of words, as some peradventure would wish that we had done...Why should we be in bondage to them [words or syllables] if we may be free, use one precisely when we may use another no less fit, as commodiously?...We have...avoided the scrupulosity of the Puritans..." Wouldn't the teaching that a divorced person is free to marry again give license to widespread sin? No more than what Jesus taught concerning forgiving a brother who sins against you. Jesus said to forgive not just seven times as Peter suggested, but seventy times seven. Does this give license for brothers to sin against you? No. God, when He deems it necessary, will chasten one of His own for sinning (Heb. 12:6-11). Christians should never divorce their marriage partners. Forgiveness is God's desire. Anyone who divorces their spouse will have to account to God for it. Anyone who marries a person who has only been put away without a certificate of divorce commits adultery and will have to account to God for that. Anyone who is lawfully divorced may remarry, but whoever divorces their spouse in order to marry another will have to account to God. The whole tenor of the New Testament is forgiving those who sin against you. Husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it. Wives should not only love their husbands but submit to them in everything as unto the Lord. The head of man is Christ, and the head of woman is man, not Christ (1 Cor. 11:3). The Lord commands a woman to not depart (chorizo, 5563) from her husband. But if she does depart (chorizo, 5563) she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And the husband should not put away (aphiemi, 863) his wife (1 Cor. 7:10-11). What is adultery? Adultery is
having sexual relations with someone other than your husband or wife.
Jesus also said in Matthew 5:28 that a man who looks at a woman to lust
after her has already committed adultery in his heart, without committing
the physical act. In Matthew 5:32 and 19:9, Jesus said whoever
marries her that is put away commits adultery. The reason is that a woman
who has only been put away without having been given a certificate of
divorce is still married. Would a lawfully divorced person who marries another who has never been married or who has also been lawfully divorced be guilty of adultery? No. The lawfully divorced person does not have a husband or wife. What is biblical proof that a divorced person does not have a husband or wife? The best example of this truth is what God recorded in the analogous situation with Hosea and Gomer, "She is not my wife, neither am I her husband" (Hosea 2:2. See Jeremiah 3:8 where it is recorded that God put away Israel and gave her a certificate of divorce.) Does a man have any authority over an ex-wife? No. A man has no authority over a woman who is divorced from him. The law of the husband includes, for example, the authority to disallow a vow she has made. If a husband hears a vow that his wife made and disallows it, then he shall make her vow of no effect (Num. 30:6-8). "But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced...shall stand against her" (Num. 30:9). Likewise, in the New Testament, if a woman is married she is bound by the law of her husband. And while she is married to her husband (not divorced from him) if she marries another, she shall be called an adulteress (Rom. 7:2-3). The only way a woman is not bound by the law of her husband is if she is divorced or her husband is dead. Paul wrote, "The wife [not ex-wife] is bound by the law as long as her husband [not ex-husband] liveth; but if her husband [not former husband] be dead, she is at liberty to be married to who she will; only in the Lord" (1 Cor. 7:39). The wife is bound by the law of her husband, not ex-husband who has no authority over her. If she is divorced, she is no longer his wife, she does not have a husband and as in the example in Numbers 30:9 above is not under his authority or law. "For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law [of her husband] so long as he liveth" (Rom. 7:2). As God had recorded in Hosea 2:2, "She is not my wife, neither am I her husband." A woman cannot be bound by the law of her husband if she does not have a husband; that is, if she has been put away and given a certificate of divorce as God did with Israel. What about John the Baptizer telling Herod that it was not lawful for him to have his brother Philip's wife? According to Josephus, Herod (Antipas) was a guest at his half-brother Philip's house. While there Herod and Herodias eloped and got married. This was an incestuous relationship and forbidden by the Old Testament law (Lev. 18:6, 16). That is why John said what he did. Does the Bible anywhere prohibit a man whose wife divorces him from marrying another woman? No. Does the Bible anywhere prohibit a woman from marrying a divorced man? No. Under what circumstances does the Bible prohibit divorce? If a man publicly accused a wife of not being a virgin when they got married, but it was proved that she was a virgin, then he may not put her away (and, of course, not divorce her) as long as he lives (Deut. 22:13-19). Also, if a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged to another man and they are discovered, he must marry her and may not put her away (and, of course, not divorce her) as long as he lives (Deut. 22:28-29). This command would be senseless if divorce was prohibited in all other circumstances, too. What about the passage in Romans 7:2-3?
Romans 7:2-3 says, “For the married woman [not the divorced woman] is
bound by the law [not the Mosaic Law, but the law of her husband, not
ex-husband] to her husband [not ex-husband]; but if her husband [not
ex-husband] dies, she [the wife, not ex-wife] is released from the law
concerning the husband. So then if, while her husband [not ex-husband]
is living, she is joined to another man [marries another man], she shall
be called an adulteress [because she is still married, not divorced];
but if her husband [not ex-husband] dies, she is free from the law [of
her husband], so that she is not an adulteress [because her husband, not
ex-husband died], though she is joined to [married to] another man.”
What does the New Testament say about a man who is freed from his wife? Do not seek a wife, but if he marries he has not sinned (1 Cor. 7:27-28). The Holy Spirit inspired Paul to use the Greek word luo in verse 27. "Art thou loosed [luo, 3089] from a wife?" The word luo can mean "dissolve" or "destroy" or "unbind." Jesus used the same Greek word when He said, "Destroy [luo] this temple and, and in three days I will raise it up" (Jn. 2:19). Peter said concerning the complete destruction of the universe on the last day, "...The heavens and the earth shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up. Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved [luo]..." (2 Pet. 3:10-12). If a man is loosed (luo) from a wife and he marries another, he has not sinned. Does God anywhere in the Bible prohibit someone from marrying a lawfully divorced person? Yes. A priest in the Old Testament was prohibited from marrying a divorced woman (Lev. 21:10, 13-14). This command would make no sense if all men were prohibited from marrying divorced women. Doesn't God recognize only the first marriage, that you can only become one flesh with one person? Following are a few of many verses that clearly refute this teaching. This writer does not in any way advocate polygamy for Christians (or anyone else). The following scriptures from the Word of God are presented only to refute that false teaching. God's ideal is one man and one woman as husband and wife. "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife [ishshah]: and they shall be one flesh" (Gen. 12:5). "And Sarai, Abram's wife [ishshah] took Hagar her maid the Egyptian...and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife [ishshah]. And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived...And the angel of the Lord said unto her, I will multiply thy seed exceedingly..." (Gen. 16:3-4, 10). "David arose and went...And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife [ishshah]. And Saul saw and knew that the Lord was with David" (1 Sam. 19:27-28). "And David comforted Bathsheba his wife [ishshah], and went in unto her, and lay with her: and she bare a son, and he called his name Solomon: and the Lord loved him" (2 Sam. 12:24). David had several wives and was a man after God's own heart. Many other saints had more than one wife (ishshah) including Abraham, Moses and Jacob. These men were not living in adultery. They were blessed by God. Again, this is presented only to refute the false teaching that God recognizes only the first marriage. According to the New Testament a man is disqualified for the office of pastor, elder, or deacon if he has more than one wife (1 Tim. 3:2, 12; Titus 1:6). What about the fact that in Strong's Concordance apoluo, 630, includes "divorce" in the meaning along with "put away," "release," etc. Strong's Concordance is based on the King James Version of the Bible. Since the King James translators translated apoluo "divorced" (one time out of more than 65 occurrences of the Greek word), Mr. Strong was obliged to include "divorce" as one of the definitions. The word apostasion which means "divorce" or "divorcement" is used three times (Mt. 5:31; 19:7; Mk. 10:4) and is a distinctly different Greek word with a distinctly different meaning. Again, the Geneva Bible translated in 1560 in the margin says that "put away" (translated from apoluo) means "not lawfully divorced." Was Joseph thinking about divorcing Mary? No. The Scriptures do not say that Joseph was thinking about giving Mary a bill of divorce (biblion, 975 and apostasion, 647). The Scriptures say he had in mind to put her away (apoluo, 630). They had not yet consummated the marriage, they were only betrothed (Mt. 1:19). Does the Bible anywhere say that any married couples should separate? Yes. When 113 Israelite men had married foreign wives contrary to God's command (Ezra 10). Does the Bible anywhere say that a married couple, one or both of whom were previously divorced, should separate? No. How many verses in the entire Bible speak of a woman having the prerogative of divorcing her husband or of giving her husband a certificate of divorcement? None. How many verses in the entire Bible speak of a man and woman taking marriage vows? None. How many verses in the entire Bible speak of a man and woman making a marriage covenant? None. If there are no marriage vows and no marriage covenants between a man and a woman spoken of in the Bible, then what constitutes a marriage? When a man and a woman make a verbal or written or implied commitment to one another to be husband and wife. Is there anything wrong with making marriage vows? No. It is, however, a serious matter to make a vow and break it. We can see from the above truths that "putting away" one's spouse is different from the legal act of dissolving a marriage by giving a bill of divorcement. Because of the mistranslation of the Greek word apoluo, which means "put away," not "divorce," many sincere Christians today have been led astray and perpetuate the false teaching that anyone who marries a divorced person is living in adultery and must separate. A close examination of the Scriptures, as presented above, will prove that that is false teaching. That false teaching has caused many people, especially Christians, to separate merely because of a misunderstanding of the Scriptures. "Putting away" and "giving a bill of divorcement" are not the same thing and Christians should realize that a divorce is an absolute dissolution of a marriage. And while a person who puts away a spouse and gives him or her a certificate of divorcement will have to account to God, it is not adultery to be married to a divorced person. Those who teach that divorced people who are married are living in adultery and must separate will have to account to God for that false teaching. Following is an email I sent to someone who asked me about the "exception clause": The so-called
"exception clause" is something that some Christians use as an
excuse for a married couple to get a divorce in the case of adultery.
But the word porneia is more accurately translated
"fornication," not "adultery," which is moicheuo
or moichaomai. Fornication is a sin that
results from an unmarried person having sexual relations with another
person. Adultery is a married person having sexual relations with
someone other than your marriage partner. Some of the Jews
accused Jesus of being born as a result of Mary committing fornication,
not adultery (John 8:41). Mary was pregnant by the Holy Spirit before
her marriage with Joseph had been consummated. They were only betrothed
(engaged) at that time. Joseph was going to only put away (apoluo) Mary,
rather than give her a certificate of divorce, because they were not yet
husband and wife, in the fullest sense, and one cannot give a
certificate of divorce to one to whom one is not married. Divorce is not an
option for any Christian for any reason, if they want to be in God's
will. However, once a person is divorced, the marriage has been
absolutely dissolved, and there is nothing in the Scriptures that
prohibits anyone from marrying a person who has been given a certificate
of divorce (except in certain cases for the Jews under the Old
Covenant). Anyone who marries a person who is married to another person,
and has only been put away (also known as "legally
separated"), without having been given a certificate of
divorcement, causes that person to commit adultery, because he or she is
still married. I
would not want to have to account to God, even as a Christian, for
putting away a wife (or husband) and giving them a bill of divorcement,
for any reason. Concerning the passage
in Matthew 19:1-12, the Jewish mindset was that, under the Mosaic Law, a
man could put away his wife for any reason, but was commanded by Moses
to give her a bill of divorcement, so she could be cared for by another
husband. (Women did not have the right to put away their husbands.) But
Jesus was setting a higher standard than the Mosaic Law. Jesus makes an allowance
for putting away a "wife" (a woman to whom a man is engaged
but has not yet consummated the marriage) if she commits fornication
with another man prior to the commutation of the marriage. The disciples responded
to Jesus' higher calling either because they thought the higher New
Covenant standard of never being able to put away a wife for any reason
after the marriage was consummated (even being married for life to a
woman who turns out to be virtually intolerable to live with), or
because that if a man finds out his betrothed wife-to-be has committed
fornication with another man either before or during the betrothal, it
would be better not to marry. In any case, because of the inevitable
worries and hardships that come because of having a wife, Jesus said, if
a man can accept being single for the sake of the kingdom of heaven, it
would be better for him. No one has to worry
about too many true Christian men opting for life-time celibacy in order
to serve God, and thereby making the human race extinct. Jesus said not
all men can accept the call to celibacy to serve God, but only those
to whom it has been given. Also, the apostle Paul
was one who served the Lord as a single man, and he said that he wished
all men were like him, in this regard, but each man has his own
spiritual gift from God, and not all are called to be eunuchs for the
kingdom of heaven's sake (1 Cor. 7:7). Paul goes on to say that
nonetheless, it is still good for the unmarried, even widows, to remain
as he was (single) (1 Cor. 7:8), and reiterates the higher calling to
not put away your spouse, as Jesus said (1 Cor. 7:10-28). Paul said, in
conclusion of the matter, that if you do marry, you will have
concerns of this world that a single person does not have, and will have
distractions concerning devotion to the Lord, but the wife is bound to
her husband as long as her husband lives (no allowance for separation
and giving a certificate of divorcement), unlike the loose standards of
the Mosaic Law, because of the hard hearts of men (1 Cor. 7:32-40).
WHAT YOU MUST
KNOW ABOUT PSYCHOPATHS
A FEW COMMENTS FROM READERS: I was astounded by the article because I was a victim of a psychopath and had not realized it until now. I felt so guilty because all the while I was trying to figure out what I had done wrong in the relationship, feeling less than a woman and could not figure anything out, but thanks to you I realize I was just another prey on the person's list. Through you, God has let me realize that I am still special and always will be and I have to be more careful and wait for Him to bless me with a mate and not go ahead and choose one who "appears" to be God-sent. Thank you Harry. "Wow, thanks
brother Harry. That was a great read and has really got me thinking." "I came across your article regarding psychopaths and I had mixed emotions of relief and disappointment. I'm disappointed because I wish I had read that article 2 years ago. A man that I dated those couple of years ago, unfortunately was a psychopath. He was a dream come true. Everything I ever wanted. He told me he was a Christian, because I had made it clear that I only dated Christians. Anyway, to make a long story short, he left me devastated, hurting, depressed, and suicidal. I questioned my faith in God. So, two years passed and I thought I was fine, but I attracted yet again someone I suspect to be a a psychopath. Charming, two-faced, bait-and-switch. All of the positive elements slowly slipped away, piece by piece. So, here I am again two years later feeling like I've been run over by a train and wishing that I would be run over by a train." "Very apt article" [M.D., psychiatrist]. Only about one in 30,000 psychopaths are serial killers. The Hollywood depiction of psychopaths is, in part, a distraction from the real dangers concerning the typical psychopath who is not a serial killer, but is extremely evil and dangerous. There are more than 10,000,000 psychopaths in the United States (yes, more than ten million) and more than 100,000,000 worldwide and the percentage of psychopaths is increasing. Many psychopaths "target" true Christians because Christians are generally more empathic and easier to manipulate and control. If you are an empathic Christian living in America (where the percentage of psychopaths is higher than most countries), you have been or are now or probably will be, unknowingly, in a close relationship with a psychopath. Most likely, you will know that you have been emotionally and physically drained, confused, and even devastated---but you will not understand why. I strongly recommend that you carefully read this entire article. Psychopaths have infiltrated all strata of society, including corporate executives (and lower-level employees), law enforcement, military, politicians and other government workers including those in the highest positions, medical doctors, nurses and other healthcare providers, psychologists and psychiatrists, lawyers, Hollywood and TV actors, newscasters and talk-show hosts, financial institutions, Wall Street jobs, academia, pastors and other church leaders, and perhaps your next-door neighbor, or your husband or wife or son or daughter or father or mother. Psychopaths get pleasure by physically and/or mentally abusing anyone else, and believe they are far superior to all non-psychopaths, and that peoples' emotions and empathy and conscience are severe hindrances to humans, and are to be used by the psychopath to exploit, manipulate and control people for their own pleasure and benefit. One of the main manipulative techniques employed by psychopaths is evoking pity from a victim. They are adept at causing the innocent victim to feel guilty or responsible for the evil behavior of the predatory psychopath. Psychopaths are not psychotic, nor are they considered to be insane by the U.S. judicial system. They are rational and are fully aware of their motives, predatory nature and evil behavior. Psychopaths do not have a conscience. It is impossible for a normal person to comprehend the mind of a psychopath. The way psychopaths view themselves in contrast to normal people is fundamentally different from the essential attributes that make one a "human." They lack empathy, remorse for any wrongdoing, compassion and love. The vast majority of psychopaths never commit murder. However, all of them are very capable of murdering anyone (including their children or spouse or parents) if it suited their situation and they would not lose a moment's sleep even if they murdered all of them at one time. Because of society's general beliefs in right and wrong and ethical human behavior and morality, dictated primarily by the conscience of normal human beings, psychopaths know the difference between right and wrong, but they simply do not care if they violate society's standards---or the clear commands of the Bible. Psychopaths do not fear God. Indeed, some psychopaths view themselves as some kind of god, or at least, a demigod who is not bound by the laws, rules and ethics of normal people. Psychopaths believe humans are here for them to use like any material thing that they use, and they have never felt guilty or remorseful about anything they have ever said or done. Psychopaths are experts at hiding their evil motives and machinations and are among the most evil creatures on the planet (they are just as evil as demons). The soon-coming Antichrist and False Prophet, doubtless, will be psychopaths, as well as all the elite New World Order controllers who are currently working behind the scenes to establish the end-time One-World Government and Economic System, which will soon be ready to implement. Psychopaths have no conscience, do not love (nor can they comprehend what love is), are pathological liars who can pass lie detector tests, are usually very good actors, use invented personas that they change to manipulate different targets, have never experienced empathy, compassion, sympathy, guilt or remorse, and are the worst kind of predator on the earth. Indeed, they are evil personified. Psychopaths pick a target (prey) after observing their weak points. They can rapidly make the victim believe that the psychopath is a "dream come true" in the new relationship, oftentimes encouraging a quick marriage, then they continue to manipulate and control the target, emotionally draining him or her, and, in other ways, wreak havoc until the psychopath abandons their victim (or until the victim escapes). The charm of a psychopath is second to none. It is as if "they never met anyone they didn't know." Their initial friendliness and charisma is virtually irresistible to unsuspecting targets. After psychopaths abandon their close-relationship prey, they oftentimes defame them with lies and extraordinarily evil character assassination. They move on to, or keep their eyes open for, their next unsuspecting and naive victim. It takes years for some victims who have been in a long-term close relationship with a psychopath to recover from the emotional vampirism and mental abuse to which they were subjected. In some cases victims never recover and are committed to mental institutions or commit suicide, because the experience is so mind-blowing and devastating and incomprehensible when they realize that the person whom they loved never loved or cared one little bit for them and abandoned them as easily as flipping off a light switch. The victim discovers that he or she was in love with a fake persona and that the marriage vows meant absolutely zero to the psychopathic spouse. The victim is devastated after realizing that the person they loved and "knew" never existed. It was all an act and a fake persona invented just for them. This experience is unique (like none other) and cannot be conveyed to anyone who has not experienced this mind-blowing scenario that forever alters the victim's view of humanity after seeing a new facet of pernicious evil. The deceived victim perceives the psychopath's invented persona as their long-awaited, perfect "soul mate." The victim usually discovers that he or she is one of many who have been used and abused and emotionally destroyed (until recovery) by one of the earth's supreme predators. Most psychopaths are very promiscuous and, over many years, commit fornication or adultery with dozens or hundreds of short-term and long-term targets. Many psychopaths have had several short-term marriages, and this fact is oftentimes not revealed to a new target or spouse. There is no cure for psychopathy, and, after much research, this author has never discovered a credible report of a true psychopath who has really been born again---contrary to some claims, including the claims of some prison inmates who successfully deceived parole boards, experienced psychologists and psychiatrists, judges, jurors and family members. Some criminals who claim to have been born again while incarcerated were not psychopathic, but rather psychotic. Psychotics have a conscience, but psychopaths do not. Some psychopaths specialize in posing as an outstanding "Christian," reading their Bible and praying every day and being active in church programs, etc. Some take Bible courses or attend Bible college or seminary in order to deceive a parole board and/or their current or future victims. Most psychopaths have never been convicted of a crime, and the prison population in the U.S. is comprised of only about 25% psychopaths. However, at least, 50% of all violent crimes are committed by psychopaths and their rate of recidivism is much higher than that of non-psychopath inmates. Some
reasons why psychopaths might pick you for their prey: 1.
If you believe there is some good in all people whether they are true
Christians or not. There is absolutely no good whatsoever in a psychopath. They
are pure evil. Everything they say or do that "appears" to be good, is
only part of their invented persona meant to deceive, manipulate and disarm you
and others. Psychopaths are the most deceptive creatures and the most convincing liars on the planet. They can deceive and manipulate seasoned psychologists and psychiatrists who have had decades of experience trying to help psychopaths and their victims. So, you do not necessarily need to be naive to become a target, it just makes it easier and less challenging for the predator. Psychopaths
are classic "wolves in sheep's clothing," which includes many
so-called pastors and church leaders. Psychopaths are as evil as any demon. If
you cannot accept this truth you are ripe for becoming a victim, with very
serious consequences. 2.
If you don't believe there are people who do not have a conscience. 3.
If you are very lonely and looking for companionship. 4. If you easily fall for a "pity play," including, for example, wanting to give money to every street person with a cardboard sign that you encounter. (Some street people have legitimate reasons for being in their situation, but most are in their predicament because of continuously making wrong choices with drugs, alcohol and an unwillingness to work to earn a living.) 5.
If you are emotionally insecure and desire a relationship with someone
who is emotionally strong. (Psychopaths can spot an insecure person very
easily.) 6. If you have accounts on social networking websites, you should consider deleting all of them. Those websites are a feast for psychopaths, who are the world's best con artists. How
to recognize psychopaths: 1.
They are glib and superficial. That is to say, psychopaths seem to be
very much at ease, speaking in a smooth, informal and nonchalant manner. Their
words seem to be insincere and without depth, but this red flag is usually
ignored by the target. 2.
They advance in the new relationship extremely fast, and make you think that it
is because you and the psychopath are so much alike and are just perfect for one
another. The psychopath may tell you that he (or she) loves you the first day
that you meet. 3.
They seem to be overly caring and concerned about your well-being, having
just met you. 4.
Most psychopaths can be very charming and very flattering. They are
experts at making you feel good about yourself. However, there will almost
always be several prominent "red flags" early on, but will usually be
ignored because the psychopath is so "nice" and charismatic, and fun
to talk with and fun to be with. The target will likely dismiss one red flag
after another, against his or her intuition or "gut feeling" that
something definitely is not right about this person or the way in which the
relationship is very rapidly progressing. 5.
Psychopaths are very promiscuous and will likely tempt you to become
sexually involved very soon. (The psychopath may be aware that he or she has a
sexually transmitted disease, including AIDS or syphilis, but will not tell the
victim.) 6.
Many psychopaths have a history of frequent moving from one residence to
another, and/or a vague history with long periods of absence. 7. Psychopaths almost always play the "pity card" and repeatedly recount, for example, how bad their childhood was and how they had to fend for themselves because of the parental neglect or abuse. All of this is to evoke sympathy and compassion. It is all part of their scheme to manipulate and control. 8.
In conversation, a psychopath may use phrases like "get away
with" when they are talking about something bad that they did, with the
desire to avoid blame or punishment or criticism. All psychopaths spend their
entire life seeking to "get away with" as much as they possibly can,
using anyone they can. 9.
The modus operandi of psychopaths is
as though they are all using the same "How To" manual. There seems
to be some kind of spirit that influences and guides all psychopaths in the
same basic mode of operation. There are three main stages through which the pernicious psychopath takes the victim. The
first stage is Idealization.
This includes excessive flattery and giving much "love" and
attention to the target. The
second stage is Devaluation.
Psychopaths are very adept at knowing just which buttons to push and when.
Psychopaths start tearing down all that was built up; criticizing and devaluing
the victim. If the psychopath is a wife she will blatantly rebel against the
target-husband. Before psychopaths are ready to abandon their prey they will
have already begun to "gaslight" the victim. Gaslighting is a term used by those who study psychopathy to define mind games that psychopaths play to try to make their victims think they have lost their mind and have lost their grasp of reality. The
term "gaslight" comes from a movie made in 1944 titled, "Gaslight." In the movie, a woman's husband tries to make her
believe she is going insane, in part, by him secretly reducing the flow of
natural gas to the lights in the house. The wife notices the dim lights, but the
husband denies there has been any change in the brightness and that she is only
imagining things. Tricking
their prey, psychopaths do several things to make their victims think they are
going crazy, such as moving pieces of furniture around in a room and the
psychopath asking the victim, for example, "Why did you move that chair to
the other side of the room?" Another
example of gaslighting would be repeatedly leaving the top off of a bottle of
mouthwash or a toothpaste tube, and, when asked, the psychopath convincingly
denies having done such a thing. The target begins to believe that he or she
repeatedly left the top off, but could not remember doing it. There
are many ways in which the psychopath uses "gaslighting" to try to
damage the target mentally. The purpose is to completely control the victim, and
to win the "game" that can actually result in the bewildered victim
being incarcerated in a mental institution, or even committing suicide. Psychopaths
derive great pleasure from causing their prey mental and physical
suffering---and the evil predators never feel any remorse or guilt. The
third stage is Abandonment.
After the psychopath has determined that there is nothing more to get from using
the mentally (and probably physically) drained victim, the emotional vampire
abruptly abandons the prey. A victim may come home to unexpectedly discover that
the psychopath is gone and nowhere to be found. Of course, there are cases in which the prey abandons (escapes from) the psychopath if they finally realize that they have been dealing with a monster all along. In any case, if possible, the absolute best thing to do after being abandoned is to have no contact whatsoever with the psychopath---none. After the abandonment, the psychopath oftentimes embarks on a horrendous smear campaign against the victim (even if it is limited to family, friends and acquaintances), with outlandish lies and gross exaggerations, accusing the victim of the very things the psychopath did. Mutual friends and neighbors and family members oftentimes believe the very convincing psychopath, and think that the victim is lying and/or has become mentally ill. This intensely frustrating situation alone would be enough to cause utter despair and debilitation. Psychopaths are among the earth's most evil creatures, who, just like Satan and his demons, are here to steal, to kill, and to destroy humans. "God...endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction" (Romans 9:22). Psychopaths are in the same class of creatures as some of the Jews whom Jesus told, "You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father" (John 8:44). All psychopaths are antichrists and anti-humans. They believe that humans are at their disposal to use just as their father, the devil, desires. "Just as you heard that Antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have appeared; from this we know that it is the last hour. They went out from us, but they were not really of us" (1 John 2:18-19). |
